I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
