i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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