So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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