remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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