some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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