i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
