I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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