so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
