i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
