alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
