Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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