I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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