Where is the hickey?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
