i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
