You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
