Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It's blow job season.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
