entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
