Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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