And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
