Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
oh god the rape fog is back!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
