He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize