He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
it's great music for shaving your balls
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
