glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
