i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize