Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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