forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
