Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
