I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
