I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize