im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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