i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
