your thong is hanging out like whoa
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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