I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
