Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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