I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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