they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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