Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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