Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
