Tell her she can't have a vagina
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
last night I used snow as a chaser
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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