Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
