you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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