sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize