guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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