She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
