I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize