I think i peed on brittanys purse
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
