The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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