I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize