dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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