My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
