Yo dont text me then not text me
oh god the rape fog is back!
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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