I can text with my tongue
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
