Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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