We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
