Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wish i was in the wii world.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
