come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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