I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
