You can't motorboat a personality
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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