how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
