I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
She needs sedatives and a leash
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
