ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
