Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
