My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
