After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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