it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
