if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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