kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
