Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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