Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
