Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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