butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
