I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Damn victory sex feels great
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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