Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
