Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
