Your tits are I can't wait for
Just cropdusted the office
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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