so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize