It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
